a letter to "uninformed"

As a parent one knows that when someone says or does something to their child the instinct is to pull out the momma bear claws and retaliate. I understand that everyone will not be as accepting and understanding towards William as I would like them to be and that my "typical" children will have to deal with the tough times too but sometimes comments are absolutely uncalled for and by no circumstance acceptable.

We surround ourselves with an abundance of loved ones and I can say we do not encounter much negativity. Unfortunately, I have had several ugly things said (of course not to me) and they make me sick, honestly I wonder how people can be so thoughtless and close minded. To tell the truth I wish this person had another individual in their family with different abilities and perhaps their perception of my son and so many others would change. Not to mention what a bless that child would be.....am I just living' in a dream world?

Dear Uninformed,

There are some things I need to say and get off of my chest. Although you think you "know" my son you truly do not know him for who he is. You may see him and think "oh cute kid", but what you are saying inside is totally different, I see it on your face when you look at him, me and my other children. That is ok. I understand you say and do these hurtful things because you are uninformed, but this does not make is alright. We are a pretty typical family ... you don't have to wonder what will become of William b/c I can tell you he will do great things. guaranteed!

I pray daily that the love my son brings to our family and friends will shine through. I do not want to get into the politically correctness of words but it would be nice for you to think of my child and give him as much respect as you give others. While we are on the subject I think it may be a good time share a few pointers with you, common courtesy if you will.....

1. please do not refer to my child as the "Down syndrome child" or better yet my all time favorite.....the "Down's kid".

William is a five year old boy who loves school, riding his bike, playing with his friends, reading, play dough, baseball ......

He is a son, brother, grandson, nephew, cousin, friend, student, and teammate and is fiercely loved by many, many people who love him for who he is.

He loves waffles, spaghetti hot dogs and eggs and doesn't like mac n cheese! He cries if he gets scared or sad and loves to play shadow puppets with his hands in the dark before bed.

He is just like many other five year old boys including the fact that he loves his big sisters and sometime drives them crazy by grabbing their things and running (while laughing his devilish little laugh, heheh)

He was born with Trisomy 21 the most common type of Down syndrome it is called T21 b/c the 21st chromosome is tripled. This extra chromosome means no more than he may need to try a little extra harder at the things he does and some may take a little more effort. Let me explain this does not imply he can't and won't complete a given task....give him extra time with encouragement and don't give up on him or any other child. This does not mean he is any less of a person than you or I.

So let me recap to make this simple:

he is a boy.

who happens to have Down syndrome.

not a syndrome making a boy.

Got it? Mmmmkay

If you happen to get cancer I will not call you Mrs./Mr. Cancer, I believe you would like to continue using your name not being called the cancer lady/man. Correct?

moving on.....

ahhhh, I'm feeling better already:)

2. My child is not "special".

Well, he is special but not in the way you mean it. He is no more special than any of my three girls. William is a super funny and smart little boy. If you don't agree you need to take some time out of your schedule to spend a few minutes with him, he really a cool kid. Don't get me wrong he surly isn't perfect, he can be a big stinker too and he does know what "time out" is.

3. Do not call my child "Special Ed"! ACK!!!!!

I do not even know how this could come out of person's mouth. Do you realize that "sped" is a service, it is NOT a person or a label for anyone!

Well, my time is being cut short for now "uninformed", however I would really like to resume this little informational session we are having I really feel like I'm getting through, so I will be getting back to you soon for a little more on my sweet boy.

Until then, open your mind, be thankful for what you have, stop being so judgemental and let's all remember the words from our sweet friend Craig Blackburn......

".... look at my ability not my disability."